Has this happened to you as a single golfer?

[Feherty Fan]

I tend to play alot as a single golfer and I have never experienced this before, so I was curious if it has happened to others...

I walked onto a local course recently looking to play a round. After paying, a 2-some on a cart was just about to tee up, so the starter asked them if I could join them. They said 'NO' as they thought a walker would slow them down... I thought this was just plain rude. I have played many times as a single, and never had an issue with anyone before or keeping pace.

Anyways I ended up joining a 3-some directly behind them (all of us were walking) and discovered very fast the guys in front of us (the guys who said I would slow them down) were awful. They hacked it around on every hole and we were always waiting on them. After complaining to the marshall several times, we eventually got by them and left them in our dust.

The thing of it is, I still get pissed off about them saying they didn't want anyone to join them. I'm sure it was because they sucked, but its just not right. Is it just me or has this happened to others...

[DavidY]

They were just rude hackers. You were better off not joining them. I am a hacker that plays a lot of singles.....but I am nice and don't mind joining up with others as long as they don't mind playing with a poor golfer. :D

Dave

[goshawk]

I play as a single almost exclusively because of my work schedule. I never know when I'll be available to play, even on "road trips". I've been turned down from playing with "experienced" players as well as "hackers". But that is very rare. Even when I get paired with 2 or 3 ladies, they are happy to have a guy with them because their hubbies can't play, and I've enjoyed playing along with these groups. Once, I was turned down by 2 guys who were playing for money and didn't want any distractions. I don't have a big ego, so it's all good.

[Leftygolfer30]

Many, many years ago is was turned down by a threesome at Deer Creek when the starter asked them to have me join them. This is the one and only time I have ever had this happen. I was a little offended at the time but didn't really let it bother me. As I remember it, I ended up having a very enjoyable round with the threesome that I did end up joining.

By the sound of it, you had a better time with the two people you played with instead of the "hackers".

[dekker]

If you are flexible time wise,you have options as a single you should take advantage of. Starting times for instance.If you are a good player,the earlier the better. You can ask the starter to slide you in with walkers if at all possible. If you are a regular at the course it pays to get to know the starter. Those guys will help you out as long as you are reasonable and polite.

Twilight,your options diminish. You will likely get stuck with guys on a cart who are in a hurry to play as many holes as possible. Most twilight players are average players trying to improve their game. If you can play, chances are you will be on the green before them and they will be the ones trying to keep up with you.

BTW this isn't meant as a slight on twilight guys,but I've played with more hackers in the afternoon than in the mornings.

[el tigre]

The thing of it is, I still get pissed off about them saying they didn't want anyone to join them. I'm sure it was because they sucked, but its just not right. Is it just me or has this happened to others... I play as a single a lot too, and this has happened a couple of times. I don't take it personally - how can you when they haven't even met you?

Some people are very nervous and self-concious about playing with strangers, especially if they are just starting to learn the game. While I still think it is kinda rude to refuse to let others join them, in the long run it might better for everyone...

[iyell4]

:confused:
Sorry, I'm slightly confused here wrt to this topic.
My experience is that you as a twosome or threesome have NO SAY in who the Golf Club Corporation matches you up with to fill their tee-time sheets.
I've always had the Starter simply say to me
"Mr.________" will be joining the three of you today." when our threesome checks in witht he Starter.

It is always a STATEMENT and never a question, ie. "Would you mind if Mr._______ joined your threesome this afternoon?"
Since when did they start askin'?:confused:

[Hombre Lefty]

actually this kind of situation provides laughs once in awhile. We had that once... a couple of macho guys tried to refuse to play with my wife and i. They oh-so-politely told the starter "we don't like playing with ladies, we're quite good". Starter told them if we were slowing them down they could go by themselves later, but until then we were together. First tee, macho guy 1 puts it 175 yards in the rough left side. macho guy 2 puts it 180 into a waste bunker. My wife steps up and hits it 200 yards dead center of the fairway. They both bogeyed the hole, she birdied. Never heard a peep from them the rest of the way. She beat them by 5 and 8 strokes respectively, and they skulked off to their car after the round. Karma is a wonderful thing lol.....

To me golf is a social game, i love playing with anyone as long as they respect the game and don't do anything dumb.

[Leftygolfer30]

:confused:Since when did they start askin'?:confused:

It all depends on the course - some actually do ask...

[tjhayko]

Me and buddy often play as a twosome and I've got no issue with somebody turning down playing with me, and I've got no issue saying I'd prefer to not be joined up with another group. Sometimes you are just not in the frame of mind to join up with people you haven't met. We've only turned down getting joined with another twosome once, and nobody seemed to have a problem with it.

I can, however, count a number of times when we've been joined up with people I'd rather not be around at all. It hasn't happened frequently, but when it does, it definitely does take away from my enjoyment of the round.

[The Troll]

My experience is that you as a twosome or threesome have NO SAY in who the Golf Club Corporation matches you up with to fill their tee-time sheets.


A friend at a very posh private course recently told me about a 3-some which wouldn't allow a single to join....the starter ordered them off of the tee box until all possible 4-somes had gone out....they went to the pro who told them the course was for all members and if they wouldn't share they wouldn't play.

This has happened to everyone at some point and as said above is nothing to get upset about.

Joined a new private course this year so every day is as a single....so far not a single issue. :D

[simar]

although I have only once been turned away as a single by a group that had three because they were carting it, I have often seen a couple ahead of us that we catch up to not want me and my friend to join up.. Its fine because I'm willing to understand, but part of me doesnt enjoy the long wait on the tee box, sets my timing off a bit.

[Bellyhungry]

Playing as 2-some and 3-some, we have turned down singles' requests to join my group many many times. Some of the reasons:

- When playing twilight, the less people we have in the group, the faster the pace. No matter how fast the single is, he will still take some of the time
- When conducting business golf, we do not want distraction
- The odds of singles being jerks are the same as multiples as jerks. We have encountered them too many times

We don't always turn down singles, just when there are reasons to.

[el tigre]

Playing as 2-some and 3-some, we have turned down singles' requests to join my group many many times. Some of the reasons:

- When playing twilight, the less people we have in the group, the faster the pace. No matter how fast the single is, he will still take some of the time

This seems kinda selfish IMHO. I'm sure the single would like to finish before dark too - without waiting for a 3-some in front of him on every hole.

Perhaps the single is actually booked for that tee time instead of a walk-on - in which case he has just as much right to that tee time as your group does. Using your logic, shouldn't you therefore allow him to play ahead so that your group does not slow him down??

[luv2golow]

This seems kinda selfish IMHO. I'm sure the single would like to finish before dark too - without waiting for a 3-some in front of him on every hole.

Perhaps the single is actually booked for that tee time instead of a walk-on - in which case he has just as much right to that tee time as your group does. Using your logic, shouldn't you therefore allow him to play ahead so that your group does not slow him down??


Now that, my friends, is truely logical reasoning. Excellent point!:D

[guitarman]

I go out to a particular course in my area at twilight times with my wife quite a bit because I know that hardly anyone is on the course at that time. I pick that course and those times so that I can spend some alone time with my wife. Also I know how self concious my wife gets playing with strangers. We haven't had to turn anyone down yet because those times are not heavily booked. But we do go at those times for a reason. And that is to golf with each other. We have gone to courses as a twosome where it has been busy and have been put with others. We have no problem with that and know this before we go. I think its stupid to get upset if someone chooses not to let you join.
A couple of weeks ago my wife and sister went out golfing together. 2 guys asked to join up with them. As my wife and sister preferred to golf alone the politely declined. Even though they had the tee time they offered for the guys to golf ahead. I guess the guys felt rejected and proceeded to play what seemed to be a deliberately slow round. If my wife is having to wait for long periods of time they were either playing their first round ever or were being spiteful.

[Feherty Fan]

Glad to hear its just not me...

Don't get me wrong here, if these guys had politely said they just want to play alone for whatever reason, I probably would have been fine with it. But it was the turn of the nose, turning their backs to me and not even acknowledging I was there that annoyed me.

One of the things I love about golf is the the sportsmanship and etiquette, and these guys just didn't get it. Too bad, so sad....

[hannah]

I tend to play alot as a single golfer and I have never experienced this before, so I was curious if it has happened to others...

I walked onto a local course recently looking to play a round. After paying, a 2-some on a cart was just about to tee up, so the starter asked them if I could join them. They said 'NO' as they thought a walker would slow them down... I thought this was just plain rude. I have played many times as a single, and never had an issue with anyone before or keeping pace.

Anyways I ended up joining a 3-some directly behind them (all of us were walking) and discovered very fast the guys in front of us (the guys who said I would slow them down) were awful. They hacked it around on every hole and we were always waiting on them. After complaining to the marshall several times, we eventually got by them and left them in our dust.

The thing of it is, I still get pissed off about them saying they didn't want anyone to join them. I'm sure it was because they sucked, but its just not right. Is it just me or has this happened to others...

I always play as a single because I play on Wed. and this never has happened to me, if it did I would not want to play with guys like like anyway's because they wouldn't make you feel welcomed at all, rather be alone.

[mario]

when my brother and I started out we played as a 2some alot. When someone asked to join us we felt nervous because of our skilllevel but never turned anyone down. We would just tell the single we were new golfers and not very good. We actually got some good tips from some of the better golfers that joined us

Mario

[caddishack]

I always enjoy when singles or other twosomes join us. Always nice to meet new people and I have never had an experience when we dreaded it. Golf is designed for 4 so I don't know where the course actually feels it is up to the players if a 3rd or 4th joins them. The course should have a strict rule of teaming up twosomes. In fact nothing aggrevates me more than having a twosome sitting up your backside continually and then seeing that there is another twosome behind them. You would think a marshall would put them together and tighten the course up a bit. If you want to play exclusively with just your friends then book a foursome and have a foursome show up!!!

[Bellyhungry]

This seems kinda selfish IMHO. I'm sure the single would like to finish before dark too - without waiting for a 3-some in front of him on every hole.

Perhaps the single is actually booked for that tee time instead of a walk-on - in which case he has just as much right to that tee time as your group does. Using your logic, shouldn't you therefore allow him to play ahead so that your group does not slow him down??

You are absolutely right. if the single is booked for the same time, then I have no right to deny him/her from teeing off. I am only saying no to single who book tee time after my group and want to move to my slot.

To clarify, when I say NO, I don't use *****-ly tone and give them a death stare, we will simply explain to them our rationale. Sometimes, we even let them play ahead if it is open in front of us.

[BigMike72]

I have just started playing and twice have had people join our group. Both times I feel that I lucked out with who joined us. I can understand saying no because for me there is much more added pressure when playing with someone who is really better than me. One of my friends really gets freaked out when we have someone that we don't know. I like the social aspect but feel strange because i know I'm the one who is slowing people down. Intimidation and consideration would be the two reasons that I would turn someone down.

[bigbertha]

It all depends on the course - some actually do ask...

I have played most of the courses in the GTA area and have never been told I have an option either. Just curious where does this asking business happen?

[Clevelandfan]

I have just started playing and twice have had people join our group. Both times I feel that I lucked out with who joined us. I can understand saying no because for me there is much more added pressure when playing with someone who is really better than me. One of my friends really gets freaked out when we have someone that we don't know. I like the social aspect but feel strange because i know I'm the one who is slowing people down. Intimidation and consideration would be the two reasons that I would turn someone down.

Sometimes I like to play as a single to work on my game. Since a play a fair bit and practice a fair bit, I think have a bit of game and can keep up with anyone I play with. I think people who show up as a single golfer usually have game as it would be entirely nervewracking to not have game and come up and join a threesome and potentially slow them down and throw off their game. I don't think I've ever had a single join my group who can't play and can't keep up, I'm not sure if any of you have had that experience though.
Mike, just lay out the facts, you guys are beginners and if he/she doesn't mind that than they are forewarned and you shouldn't get freaked out then and nervous about slowing anyone down.

[hogannut]

When I play as a single, if I can help it I like to play with people who walk, it just makes the whole day for everyone better. Man I hate carts!!

[Phnert]

The worst thing about playin as a single, is the group that acknowledges you at the first hole and then ignores the fact that you are even there the rest of the 18. I know when I play with my usual twosome or threesome and a single joins up with us, we ALWAYS make that person feel welcome. Doesnt usually happen here as much as when i am down in Florida on holiday with the family and i hit the courses as a single. Come on AMERICANS!

[hogannut]

I find it varies from course to course. DOn Valley for example is a great course to show up as a single. I always find the people very nice and friendly. I think it is the mindset at DV. Everyone knows it's busy, so you just accept the fact if you are less than 4 you WILL have someone playing with you.

[Fiji]

I always enjoy when singles or other twosomes join us. Always nice to meet new people and I have never had an experience when we dreaded it. Golf is designed for 4 so I don't know where the course actually feels it is up to the players if a 3rd or 4th joins them. The course should have a strict rule of teaming up twosomes. In fact nothing aggrevates me more than having a twosome sitting up your backside continually and then seeing that there is another twosome behind them. You would think a marshall would put them together and tighten the course up a bit. If you want to play exclusively with just your friends then book a foursome and have a foursome show up!!!

I couldn't agree more....My sister and I were turned down a few times as a twosome just because "she's a girl and she'll slow us down" statement. As it happend in all cases my sis was 10 strokes better than them:D But you're right...most courses will pair you up before you even get to the tee.

[corchard]

I think the attitudes towards singles has changed a bit in the last 5 years or so. I can remember being turned away as a single because they didn't want to pair me with a threesome or twosome, yet wouldn't let me book as a single. With today's economics a course can't afford not to fill in the holes and courses are creating things like singles lists. Although there is still a lot of bias against women golfers.

[Toughpar3]

The worst thing about playin as a single, is the group that acknowledges you at the first hole and then ignores the fact that you are even there the rest of the 18. .......

Interesting.

This happened to me once before too! I played at Legends of Niagara-Ushers Creek and got paired up with a twosome. What I gathered from their conversations and the few sentences I spoke to them was that this round was more about business golf (i.e treating a client to a round). Funny thing to me was that there were some topics they talked about in which I could've joined in but I didn't want to "steal" the spotlight from the host treating his client :D.

I find that the higher end courses usually ask a twosome or threesome first before throwing in a single (unless its too busy).

[MP33]

My initial thought after reading about singles being denied is that it's a bit harsh. I have never been denied as a single and have always invited singles to play in our group. But, after thinking about this a bit more, I can see the flip side to the argument. Using a restaurant analogy, imagine you invite two friends to dinner at a fancy place and the host comes over to your table and asks you if it would be okay if someone joins you at your table for dinner because the place is packed and they need to max revenue. You're not paying for their food but they get to eat with you and join in on all your dinner conversations. I only thought of this analogy as it happens very often at busy Chinese restaurants in Toronto. I have been asked by waiters if I would be willing to share my table before and have always said no. Two similar situations but very different answers on my part. Food for thought.

[D_Whoa]

Personally, I love playing alone as a single - gives me time to reflect and take my time and practice different shots.

When I'm with my wife golfing as a twosome, we don't mind people joining us and will engage in some banter, but in general it's our time together. Ditto for when I'm with two buddies and a single joins us. Singles need to understand that sometimes buddies just want buddy time (maybe they only golf together once per year and don't want to make conversation with a total stranger, especially after paying $300 in greens fees). I'm cool either way, but I personally don't like joining up with anyone when I'm playing as a single.

The worst experience I've had is a couple of years ago when my wife and I were playing twilight together at crappy Rolling Hills (the 'Classic' 18), when she was just learning to play. She's always been a quick golfer, willing to pick up her ball, etc., so it's not like we were slow. We were on hole 4 - there was no one behind us for the first three holes. Mid-way through the 4th hole, we see another twosome sprinting through the course. By the time we get to the fifth tee, they've caught up and are absolutely desperate to join up. We had carts, they were walking, the course was backed up at this point, so I didn't understand why they rushed to catch up to us - they could have enjoyed the first four holes at least. Anyway, I grudgingly let them pair up while we waited to tee off, and sure enough they were absolute hackers. My wife was getting nervous around them too (as most beginners do around strangers), and flubbed her next two drives (despite being a very good driver). Well, the hackers tried to give her advice even though they had the typical "killing snakes on a plane" type swings. I swear, the one guy was lifting his arms in the air trying to show her how he golfs (he didn't speak English very well, so he was gesticulating a lot). It was the most ridiculous homemade looking swing I'd ever seen - a cross between playing violin and table tennis. I was tempted to tell them to just shut up and mind their own business, I'm more than capable of being her teacher, etc., but held off. The thing was, she was a beginner, but already a much better golfer than this hack. Some people are so oblivious, and think playing with a female golfer means that they're suddenly Butch Harmon.

Bottom line - if you join up with someone, it doesn't mean you need to talk to the people you joined like you're closest pals. The best thing you can do is act like you're not there. And please, unless asked, refrain from giving advice to female golfers. Unless you're CPGA certified or an actual teacher, or a trusted friend, you're probably doing more harm than good.

[guitarman]

And please, unless asked, refrain from giving advice to female golfers. Unless you're CPGA certified or an actual teacher, or a trusted friend, you're probably doing more harm than good.

Even if I'm asked I wouldn't give advice. Although I've had lessons and my swing is 100% improved that in no way makes me qualified to teach on the course or anywhere else. Thats one thing I hate about singles or twosomes joining in on a my tee time. You never know when your going to get that person that feels the need to try and rework your swing on the course. Best way to ruin a round. You either have to confront them and tell them no thanks for the advice, in which case you make for an awkward round or you take thier advice and proceed to shoot worse than normal.

[Golfbum]

Even if I'm asked I wouldn't give advice. Although I've had lessons and my swing is 100% improved that in no way makes me qualified to teach on the course or anywhere else. Thats one thing I hate about singles or twosomes joining in on a my tee time. You never know when your going to get that person that feels the need to try and rework your swing on the course. Best way to ruin a round. You either have to confront them and tell them no thanks for the advice, in which case you make for an awkward round or you take thier advice and proceed to shoot worse than normal.

If you are smart you would let them pass on their BS and then pay no attention to it. Why the hell would you take advice from someone who is playing worse than you? :confused:

[discomonkey]

I'm brand new to golf so I don't really know these rules or traditions of etiquette... but if you let a single join and he/she is a much better golfer, is he/she then allowed to just take off provided the course is open in front of us? The only reason I would be reluctant to invite a single to join my threesome would be because I would be afraid of holding him/her up. If the single is allowed to just take off after starting, then by all means, join up with our threesome anytime you see us! Just know that WE SUCK!