/**/

Collapse

Announcement

No announcement yet.
Collapse

Racism at a private club

X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Racism at a private club

    Folks

    Wanted to get your thoughts on how you would have handled this. I just joined a private golf course this year and was in the clubhouse having lunch with my 10 year old son and a family sits next to us. The guy his wife and his daughter have been sitting on the table next to us for 2 minutes when he says 'should we kick them out'. I hear this then he proceeds to say 'do they look like ISIS to you'. Considering we were the only visible minorities in the room I figured it was directed at us. So far everyone else that I have met have been an amazing group of people. The club has an amazing junior program and this is probably a single idiot in the membership.

    My blood was boiling but my son was there and I didn't want to make a scene in front of him. If he wasn't there I would have lost my marbles. We left shortly thereafter. I'm sure I will run into the a$$hole at some point. What would you do?
    Last edited by Moz123; May 30, 2015, 01:38 PM. Reason: Typo

  • #2
    Re: Racism at a private club

    tough call with the kids there,hopefully it was just some idiot shooting his mouth off.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Racism at a private club

      I would have confronted him in a diplomatic manner regardless of was there. Stand up for yourself and man up.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Racism at a private club

        i know you said your son was there, but it could have been a good opportunity to teach him that it is acceptable to stand up against racism, and the non violent way of doing so.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Racism at a private club

          Originally posted by Moz123 View Post
          Folks

          Wanted to get your thoughts on how you would have handled this. I just joined a private golf course this year and was in the clubhouse having lunch with my 10 year old son and a family sits next to us. The guy his wife and his daughter have been sitting on the table next to us for 2 minutes when he says 'should we kick them out'. I hear this then he proceeds to say 'do they look like ISIS to you'. Considering we were the only visible minorities in the room I figured it was directed at us. So far everyone else that I have met have been an amazing group of people. The club has an amazing junior program and this is probably a single idiot in the membership.

          My blood was boiling but my son was there and I didn't want to make a scene in front of him. If he wasn't there I would have lost my marbles. We left shortly thereafter. I'm sure I will run into the a$$hole at some point. What would you do?
          Go to the GM of the club and have a long chat with him or her, this is not what you expect to hear, don't let it rest, this type of talk is inexcusable, this one idiot that said these things should be talked to and warned by the GM of the club that his talk will not be tolerated and you should not let this slide, I belong to a private club and I know we will never erase this kind of behaviour but we don't pay the $$$$ we do to be subjected to these types of comments in public and where your son is exposed to....
          Thomas4golf

          Ping G425 Max/Tensei AV Orange
          Callaway XR Hybrids, 4, 5, 6 Accra I-Series
          Miura TC-201 / 6 - PW N.S. Pro 950 GH
          Callaway Jaws Raw /50* 54* 58* N.S. Modus
          Ferrules by Bbandfco

          Putter / Ping Prime Tyne 4
          Pro V1x Left Dash
          Leupold GX - 5C R.F.

          Vessel Player 111 Stand Bag / Black
          Stewart X9



          Member: Coppinwood Golf Club

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Racism at a private club

            Go seek out the GM and get the paper trail going. Don't have to name names but make them aware of the situation that happened and how you feel. Training will be given out quickly and if it happens again, that individual will be shown the door very quickly.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Racism at a private club

              First off, what authority does he have to kick you out? Someone wants to spout, or seem like they are important, doesn't mean he is.

              Secondly, reacting, especially there, reminds me of the never argue with an idiot tale: they'll only drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience. I know it takes everything you have not to react, but I can't see how your situation would have been positive had you done so.

              Your other option could have been to go up to their table, and say something like "I see you already know my purpose for being here, I would like to speak with your daughter about a position with our organization. CSIS has wonderful opportunities for young women, and ..... you did say CSIS, right?" Now that has its own pitfalls, but turning the situation into one where it's his blood boiling would be the best outcome. Let him be all messed up, not you.

              Find out what gets his goat, and accidentally end up on the tee sheet with him. And then proceed to, while not ignoring etiquette, make him as uncomfortable as possible. And when you shake hands, say , "Now imagine how bad I would be if I were a part of them."

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Racism at a private club

                If I did not want to confront them right then would likely have asked F&B Manager on the floor what their name was and then at some point ask to speak with them about what I thought I heard. Perhaps they were referring to something else? You may want to share your concern with the Club GM.

                Anyway hopefully it is not what you think. You likely spent a fair amount of time researching before becoming a Member so trust that read still holds true.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Racism at a private club

                  You should have made a point of confronting them in-front of your son. Better he sees it from you that he should stand up for himself. Unless of course he is too young and unaware of what ISIS is (or what the comparison means) then you should say something to the GM in a private, in person conversation.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Racism at a private club

                    A chat with the GM is definitely in order.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Racism at a private club

                      First of all I want you to know that you are not alone in your experience. As a visible minority in a club that is predominantly white, you are going to face these situations.

                      I have belonged to 3 private clubs and in two of them I was one of the handful of visible minority members. In the first one in London, Ontario, there were many members who would avoid eye contact or openly not respond to my " good morning". For all the positive experiences that golf gives us, the one negative is that it tends to be somewhat a bastion of "red necks" - if that is an appropriate description. Even at the club in London, I stuck it out and managed to find friendly members to play with. I stopped going to the men's night because under the influence of alcohol there were a lot of racist and other inappropriate jokes, and I never felt comfortable in that environment.

                      In your current club, which I think I know, you make the observation that the majority of members are friendly and very nice. You are right and you should enjoy those people.

                      I look at it as I am one of the early representatives of visible minorities in the golf world and I have a role to open the doors to a more tolerant club where diverse races can enjoy golf. If you look at yourself this way, you will find it easier to put up with the occasional a** holes.

                      You did the right thing not confronting him. In your shoes, I would have asked to be reseated elsewhere in the restaurant. That would have sent the right message to the guy and the staff. You could have then told the F&B manager why you requested to be reseated. Then leave it at that.

                      Hearing your story leaves a knot in my stomach, because I have been there and I know the feeling. But believe me, I play with a great group of members and I know a few of them were probably hesitant about playing with me, but in time as they get to know me they have become some of my best friends.

                      So stick with it my friend and think of the first black people in golf and what they went through. What we experience in nothing compared to what they experienced. Think of yourself as an ambassador for your race - and try to be a good one - for you are paving the way for others behind you.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Racism at a private club

                        I think you made the right choice in not confronting him right away. If you had, you could easily have earned the reputation of being the violent Jihadist the offender was worried about.

                        I think a talk with the GM is in order as many others have said.

                        There's a good chance that this guy is known around the club. They may (or may not) be tired of him.

                        Also make sure that you heard what you thought you heard. It's so outrageous it hardly seems possible, so you need to be sure.

                        With any action you take, consider what the best outcome is for you. Do you want the guy to apologize? Do you want him removed (unlikely!). Do you want to remain at this club (sounds like the rest of the membership is good).
                        "Confusion" will be my epitaph
                        ...Iggy

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Racism at a private club

                          Sad to hear that this happened.

                          I'm not sure if in your shoes I would have been as tolerant in the moment .

                          I would definitely speak to the club. I have to think that this is not behavior they want around their establishment.
                          "Don't cry because it's over, Smile because it happened "

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Racism at a private club

                            Without knowing the structure of the club sometimes there's a discipline comittee comprised of members that deal with complaints about other members.
                            Playing devil's advocate here, is there any way if confronted by management or the discipline comittee that he could claim that you overheard them discussing something/someone other than you?
                            If you know the name maybe try booking into a group with him and introduce yourself on the 1st tee sometime.
                            It's certainly not what you signed up for and can't imagine a decent club tolerating that sort of behaviour.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Racism at a private club

                              Definitely speak with the club. Not acceptable behaviour.

                              Comment

                              Collapse

                              Latest TGN Reviews


                              Collapse

                              PGA Leaderboard


                              Collapse

                              Today's Birthdays


                              Working...
                              X