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Laws of Golf

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  • Laws of Golf

    20 Golfing Laws
    1. No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.
    2. Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.
    3. Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.
    4. Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.
    5. No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of the universe.
    6. The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.
    7. Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.
    8. Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.
    9. Palm trees eat golf balls.
    10. Sand is alive. If it isn't, how do you explain the way it works against you?
    11. Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
    12. A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and a tax agent -- or some similar combination.
    13. All 3-woods are demon-possessed.
    14. Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (see Law three)
    15. A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.
    16. "Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt." Similarly, "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss an easy one, sucker."
    17. The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.
    18. The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.
    19. Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
    20. All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset of the same day.
    You may contact me with general questions about the forum.
    Advertising requests should be emailed to advertise@torontogolfnuts.com.
    Contact us to organize a TGN golf day/TGN tournament at your golf course, email events@torontogolfnuts.com.
    Thank you to all our members and sponsors for your continued support. Looking forward to a brand new golf season.

  • #2
    haha very true on almost all accounts.....atleast for me! ....this is a good read!
    Feherty: " 270 to carry the water, you might want to lay up SnowFlake "

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    • #3
      haha good one...some of them makes me scratch my head though

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Mok
        haha good one...some of them makes me scratch my head though
        play some more golf and u'll understand more!
        Feherty: " 270 to carry the water, you might want to lay up SnowFlake "

        Comment


        • #5
          hahaha...nice...i can almost relate to all of the laws...dammit...
          "Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
          Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober."
          Winston Churchill

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          • #6
            Re: Laws of Golf

            Guilty as charged!
            _________________________________
            Driver: Wishon 919THI, Accra DyMatch RT
            3 Wood: Snake Eyes Vipor XT, Accra T70
            5 Wood: Snake Eyes Vipor Tour Steel, Accra T70
            4 Hybrid: Nickent 3DCX Ironwood, UST Proforce V2
            Irons: 5 - PW Snake Eyes 600 XC TT
            Wedges: Wishon PCF Micro Tour 51*, 55*
            and Wishon PCF 59*, Rifle Spinners for all wedges.
            Putter: Macgregor Bobby Grace M6.4K 31"
            All clubs heavily pimped, halerized, and just plain bad azzed by Ian Hale, fitter extrodinaire.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Laws of Golf

              3. Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.

              I played a 150 yrd all-carry par 3 yesterday with water guarding in front of the green and with no bail out behind the green.

              I hit 1 new Callaway Black and 4 right-off-the-sleeve new Pro V1 into the water after being stubborn and refuse to take the drop.
              I ended up taking a DNF on that hole.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Laws of Golf

                beautiful! anecdotal proof of the new-ball-to-H2O-magnetism law.
                PING G2 10°... Callaway Steelhead 3W ... Mizuno Fli-Hi 21° ... Callaway X-14 PS ... Cleveland 588 RTG 53° & 57° ... PING Anser3 ... Maxfli Noodle ... Sun Mountain C-130

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Laws of Golf

                  Why is it that I can drain 25 footers when I reach the green in 4 or 5 on par 4's, but always more apt to three put when I reach in 2 ?
                  _________________________________
                  Driver: Wishon 919THI, Accra DyMatch RT
                  3 Wood: Snake Eyes Vipor XT, Accra T70
                  5 Wood: Snake Eyes Vipor Tour Steel, Accra T70
                  4 Hybrid: Nickent 3DCX Ironwood, UST Proforce V2
                  Irons: 5 - PW Snake Eyes 600 XC TT
                  Wedges: Wishon PCF Micro Tour 51*, 55*
                  and Wishon PCF 59*, Rifle Spinners for all wedges.
                  Putter: Macgregor Bobby Grace M6.4K 31"
                  All clubs heavily pimped, halerized, and just plain bad azzed by Ian Hale, fitter extrodinaire.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Laws of Golf

                    The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.
                    this describes me to a T.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Laws of Golf

                      Originally posted by leftintherough View Post
                      Why is it that I can drain 25 footers when I reach the green in 4 or 5 on par 4's, but always more apt to three put when I reach in 2 ?
                      At least you get to putt (lol) ... I can't even reach the green before running out of balls and energy ....

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Laws of Golf

                        Cobra Bio-Cell+ set at 9° with VLCT Stiff
                        Wishon 15° 1-Hybrid
                        Cobra Baffler Rail 17° and 22° Hybrids
                        5-GW Golfsmith Pro Forged Blades

                        Maltby oil-soaked 54° and 58° Wedges
                        Cleveland Blade Putter
                        Any balls I can scavenge.....

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Laws of Golf

                          Originally posted by Bellyhungry View Post
                          3. Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.

                          I played a 150 yrd all-carry par 3 yesterday with water guarding in front of the green and with no bail out behind the green.

                          I hit 1 new Callaway Black and 4 right-off-the-sleeve new Pro V1 into the water after being stubborn and refuse to take the drop.
                          I ended up taking a DNF on that hole.
                          That's one reason I only play balls that I get from Knet or ones I run across in the brush at the course. Haven't hit but one ball into the drink all season!!
                          U. S. Air Force, Retired

                          Comment

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