tl;dr compare the pictures on their site with what I’ve posted here. I paid $29 on GolfNow, they charge $48 to play this "course".
If someone wanted to make a golf themed horror movie, it would probably take place on the barren wasteland that is Westbrook "Golf Club" in Kingston. You start to get an eerie feeling driving up to the clubhouse in the middle of the day and noticing there's only one other car in the parking lot - the pro shop attendant's.
"Hmmm," you think to yourself "maybe I am a little bit crazy to be out here playing in this 38 degree weather." But then you remember that round you played last week at a muni back in Cambridge (Doon Valley). Sure, you almost got heat stroke but the course was reasonably busy. Besides, remember how awesome that cold shower felt after?
You park your car. Stepping out into the blistering noon hour sun you notice you're in front of the putting green near the first tee. Although, you only assume it is because of the miniature flags listing lifelessly above brown grass. You think "wow, they've got a really large practice area" before you realize you can't actually make out where the green ends, and the rough begins. This would become a recurring theme during the day.
You walk inside, mention you got a deal on GolfNow last night for the course to the pro shop employee and she hands you a cart key. "It's really dry out there" she says, "just making sure you're aware." You laugh and say it's expected, given how little rain has fallen over the last few weeks. "There's a couple out on the par 3 course, but you're the only one out on the main 18" she answers, when you inquire about how busy it is today. A chill runs down your spine - no one else thought to play before it got hot today?
Ready for a round of golf you load up your electric cart and think to yourself you might be able to finish in under 3 hours, it'll be a good day today. Course to yourself, cart to yourself, nothing to worry about. Your electric cart feels groggy - as if you woke it from a deep sleep - when you step on the accelerator and head off to the first tee.
Stepping up to the first tee and taking your golf GPS app out on your phone, it seems odd to you that the satellite images from Google Maps show the course as dry and dead as it currently is. "These photos must be from this time last year" you say to yourself, as if to make sure you don't start to question what kind of round this will turn out to be. The first hole is a good start, with the dry conditions making you feel like a tour pro. You catch your first shot as good as you can at your handicap, fading left to right over a hill. Moseying up to your ball in your cart, you’re astonished to find out you smacked it 285 according to the GPS app. In surprise your eyebrows raise when you see that number pop up. It’s been a while since you caught one that well. From the left rough – at least, that’s where you think you are – you play a 9-iron into the green…er, “brown”. Classic you though, pushing it right. Great distance but you just forget how to aim sometimes. You remind yourself that no, you don’t need a new set of cheap Nike clubs – you need lessons. Pulling up beside your ball you take out your trusty 58* wedge, trying to knock it close. It’s a good shot, or at least it would be if the “browns” were an 8 instead of 18 on the Stimpmeter. It rolls across the green to the fringe. Your putting has been decent lately (you’ve repressed the memory of the back-to-back-to-back 3-4-3-putt from two weeks ago) so you’re not too worried. As you walk across the green however, you notice the back half looks like the dry skin on the back of your grandmother’s hands – cracked and flaking, with unnatural ridges popping up all over the place. At least this time it’s not being dragged across your face to a raspy “look how cute you are” – only your ball has to suffer that torment. It’s an uneventful two-putt from 15 feet away on the fringe for you, walking away with a bogey. A good start.
Hole #1
The second hole has a tee protected by trees, offering you some refuge from the unrelenting sun. You use the shade to check the distance to the green using your GPS app. Curiously it’s about 10 yards different than what the scorecard says…and neither the scorecard nor your app agree with the distance from the hole sign. You trust your app and pull out your 9-iron for this 138 yard shot. Just want to get it over the bunker, and letting you ball fall victim to the rock hard greens as it probably rolls through it. Stepping up to the ball, you let it fly after your trademark 3 club waggles. It’s pulled a bit left, gets a healthy kick right and ends up just long on the fringe. Perfect, just like you planned. With the cart parked behind your ball towards the next tee, you trust your putter to hit the ball close. And it works – you one-putt to save par, what a scrambler you are!
Hole #2
But there’s a surprise on this green. One that has been there for days, a week even. One that the grounds crew should have noticed last Friday, after the hawk got to it on Thursday.
Hole #2 Surprise!
Yes, that is a half decomposed frog on the second green. It’s not even hiding.
I’m done with the narrative. I could go on, but over the round of 18 that I just played today I’d be writing the script for a blockbuster feature length film starring Kevin Costner called “Tin Cup 2: Revenge of the Pond.”
This was the worst golf course I have ever played in my life. I would not recommend it to my most hated playing partner. That was on the second hole, and it only got worse from there.
The third hole had a small patch of green grass beside the green, but again the green was in atrocious condition. Then you realize that the green patch only exists because of the sprinkler directly behind it.
Hole #3
Number 4 was a tight par four, again with a terrible green.
Hole #4
If you still can’t grasp how dry it was, my tee shot on the 5th hole was a topped 3-hybrid, getting two bounces in before passing the red tees…it went 191 yards. Fairways and greens were pretty much the same as the others, with an added bonus that the flag wouldn’t stay in the hole. Seriously, no one else was on the course, yet the flag fell out of the cup. I had to drive up and jam it in to make sure it wouldn’t fall over before hitting my second shot.
Hole #5
Bonus video showing you how terrible it looks in person:
Hole #5 Bonus Video
The 6th hole tee box doesn’t even have blue tees, yet the hole sign and scorecard both have a larger distance for the blues than the whites. I just played from the whites. From the tee box, the hole looks like it goes straight over the small trees in front, but that’s the 1st fairway. The hole goes directly right out of the tee box, those trees are the left border of the hole. See that tiny gap on the right, that the tee markers aren’t even angled towards? Yeah, that’s where the hole is. Aren’t you glad you didn’t trust the hole sign that says it goes straight? Bonus on this green – you’ve got about a dozen anthills all over the place. It seems Westbrook has become some weird hybrid between a golf course and mini-putt.
Hole #6
A driveable par 4 is next, and to my surprise I actually hit it. Made birdie actually. So check the birdie thread for details. I was lucky enough to hit it to a spot where my line to the hole avoided all the canyons.
Hole #7
The 8th was memorable because my ball came to rest in a canyon once I made it onto the green. Punched a 7-iron up there after losing my ball left of the tee. Lovely.
Hole #8
The 9th was interesting, walked over a creek to get to the tee. Well I think it was a creek at some point, but definitely not today. Tight tee shot that I lost left so re-teed and hit one down the right side. Addressing my fourth shot, going through my waggles and looking at the target and then back down to my ball, I notice the flag disappears. Same thing as #5, I hop in the cart and plop the flag back in. I think this green was the worst.
Hole #9
At the turn, I went in and grabbed more ice water from the pro shop and talked a bit with a guy who had come in for presumably the afternoon shift. They said they had a tonne of people out on Tuesday, but haven’t been busy lately with how dry it was. I straight up told him this was the worst ****ing golf course I’d ever seen. In my mind, I didn’t have anything else to do today, the round was only $29, and it was like watching a trainwreck unfold before my eyes. I had to keep going.
If someone wanted to make a golf themed horror movie, it would probably take place on the barren wasteland that is Westbrook "Golf Club" in Kingston. You start to get an eerie feeling driving up to the clubhouse in the middle of the day and noticing there's only one other car in the parking lot - the pro shop attendant's.
"Hmmm," you think to yourself "maybe I am a little bit crazy to be out here playing in this 38 degree weather." But then you remember that round you played last week at a muni back in Cambridge (Doon Valley). Sure, you almost got heat stroke but the course was reasonably busy. Besides, remember how awesome that cold shower felt after?
You park your car. Stepping out into the blistering noon hour sun you notice you're in front of the putting green near the first tee. Although, you only assume it is because of the miniature flags listing lifelessly above brown grass. You think "wow, they've got a really large practice area" before you realize you can't actually make out where the green ends, and the rough begins. This would become a recurring theme during the day.
You walk inside, mention you got a deal on GolfNow last night for the course to the pro shop employee and she hands you a cart key. "It's really dry out there" she says, "just making sure you're aware." You laugh and say it's expected, given how little rain has fallen over the last few weeks. "There's a couple out on the par 3 course, but you're the only one out on the main 18" she answers, when you inquire about how busy it is today. A chill runs down your spine - no one else thought to play before it got hot today?
Ready for a round of golf you load up your electric cart and think to yourself you might be able to finish in under 3 hours, it'll be a good day today. Course to yourself, cart to yourself, nothing to worry about. Your electric cart feels groggy - as if you woke it from a deep sleep - when you step on the accelerator and head off to the first tee.
Stepping up to the first tee and taking your golf GPS app out on your phone, it seems odd to you that the satellite images from Google Maps show the course as dry and dead as it currently is. "These photos must be from this time last year" you say to yourself, as if to make sure you don't start to question what kind of round this will turn out to be. The first hole is a good start, with the dry conditions making you feel like a tour pro. You catch your first shot as good as you can at your handicap, fading left to right over a hill. Moseying up to your ball in your cart, you’re astonished to find out you smacked it 285 according to the GPS app. In surprise your eyebrows raise when you see that number pop up. It’s been a while since you caught one that well. From the left rough – at least, that’s where you think you are – you play a 9-iron into the green…er, “brown”. Classic you though, pushing it right. Great distance but you just forget how to aim sometimes. You remind yourself that no, you don’t need a new set of cheap Nike clubs – you need lessons. Pulling up beside your ball you take out your trusty 58* wedge, trying to knock it close. It’s a good shot, or at least it would be if the “browns” were an 8 instead of 18 on the Stimpmeter. It rolls across the green to the fringe. Your putting has been decent lately (you’ve repressed the memory of the back-to-back-to-back 3-4-3-putt from two weeks ago) so you’re not too worried. As you walk across the green however, you notice the back half looks like the dry skin on the back of your grandmother’s hands – cracked and flaking, with unnatural ridges popping up all over the place. At least this time it’s not being dragged across your face to a raspy “look how cute you are” – only your ball has to suffer that torment. It’s an uneventful two-putt from 15 feet away on the fringe for you, walking away with a bogey. A good start.
Hole #1
The second hole has a tee protected by trees, offering you some refuge from the unrelenting sun. You use the shade to check the distance to the green using your GPS app. Curiously it’s about 10 yards different than what the scorecard says…and neither the scorecard nor your app agree with the distance from the hole sign. You trust your app and pull out your 9-iron for this 138 yard shot. Just want to get it over the bunker, and letting you ball fall victim to the rock hard greens as it probably rolls through it. Stepping up to the ball, you let it fly after your trademark 3 club waggles. It’s pulled a bit left, gets a healthy kick right and ends up just long on the fringe. Perfect, just like you planned. With the cart parked behind your ball towards the next tee, you trust your putter to hit the ball close. And it works – you one-putt to save par, what a scrambler you are!
Hole #2
But there’s a surprise on this green. One that has been there for days, a week even. One that the grounds crew should have noticed last Friday, after the hawk got to it on Thursday.
Hole #2 Surprise!
Yes, that is a half decomposed frog on the second green. It’s not even hiding.
I’m done with the narrative. I could go on, but over the round of 18 that I just played today I’d be writing the script for a blockbuster feature length film starring Kevin Costner called “Tin Cup 2: Revenge of the Pond.”
This was the worst golf course I have ever played in my life. I would not recommend it to my most hated playing partner. That was on the second hole, and it only got worse from there.
The third hole had a small patch of green grass beside the green, but again the green was in atrocious condition. Then you realize that the green patch only exists because of the sprinkler directly behind it.
Hole #3
Number 4 was a tight par four, again with a terrible green.
Hole #4
If you still can’t grasp how dry it was, my tee shot on the 5th hole was a topped 3-hybrid, getting two bounces in before passing the red tees…it went 191 yards. Fairways and greens were pretty much the same as the others, with an added bonus that the flag wouldn’t stay in the hole. Seriously, no one else was on the course, yet the flag fell out of the cup. I had to drive up and jam it in to make sure it wouldn’t fall over before hitting my second shot.
Hole #5
Bonus video showing you how terrible it looks in person:
Hole #5 Bonus Video
The 6th hole tee box doesn’t even have blue tees, yet the hole sign and scorecard both have a larger distance for the blues than the whites. I just played from the whites. From the tee box, the hole looks like it goes straight over the small trees in front, but that’s the 1st fairway. The hole goes directly right out of the tee box, those trees are the left border of the hole. See that tiny gap on the right, that the tee markers aren’t even angled towards? Yeah, that’s where the hole is. Aren’t you glad you didn’t trust the hole sign that says it goes straight? Bonus on this green – you’ve got about a dozen anthills all over the place. It seems Westbrook has become some weird hybrid between a golf course and mini-putt.
Hole #6
A driveable par 4 is next, and to my surprise I actually hit it. Made birdie actually. So check the birdie thread for details. I was lucky enough to hit it to a spot where my line to the hole avoided all the canyons.
Hole #7
The 8th was memorable because my ball came to rest in a canyon once I made it onto the green. Punched a 7-iron up there after losing my ball left of the tee. Lovely.
Hole #8
The 9th was interesting, walked over a creek to get to the tee. Well I think it was a creek at some point, but definitely not today. Tight tee shot that I lost left so re-teed and hit one down the right side. Addressing my fourth shot, going through my waggles and looking at the target and then back down to my ball, I notice the flag disappears. Same thing as #5, I hop in the cart and plop the flag back in. I think this green was the worst.
Hole #9
At the turn, I went in and grabbed more ice water from the pro shop and talked a bit with a guy who had come in for presumably the afternoon shift. They said they had a tonne of people out on Tuesday, but haven’t been busy lately with how dry it was. I straight up told him this was the worst ****ing golf course I’d ever seen. In my mind, I didn’t have anything else to do today, the round was only $29, and it was like watching a trainwreck unfold before my eyes. I had to keep going.
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