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BEST GOLF JOKES !

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  • #16
    Re: BEST GOLF JOKES !

    Two newfies are playing in the British Open in the last group together. On the third hole the one newfie hears someone in the crowd yell NICE SHOT STEVE. he goes to the ropes looking for the person calling "Steve". He doesnt see anyone so he goes back to the game. He tells the other newfie someone was calling Steve from the crowd. A couple of holes later he hears someone yell Steve. He again goes to the ropes and looks for the person yelling "Steve" Again he does not see the person. He goes back to the game. Finally three holes later he hears someone yell "Steve" from the crowd. Finally frustrated he goes over to the ropes and yells "my names not Steve"
    Lelyflamingo

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    • #17
      Re: BEST GOLF JOKES !

      A young Tiger Woods was on vacation in Newfoundland and when he got there, the only car he could rent was a BMW. He ended up pulling into a gas station to fill up. When he got out of the car, two tees spilled onto the pavement.
      The gas station attendant had never seen such things so he ask's Tiger what they were.
      Tiger replies oh, those are for putting my balls on when I drive.
      Without hesitation the attendand says, boy those Germans sure think of everything.

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: BEST GOLF JOKES !

        Originally posted by gr8glfr
        A young Tiger Woods was on vacation in Newfoundland and when he got there, the only car he could rent was a BMW. He ended up pulling into a gas station to fill up. When he got out of the car, two tees spilled onto the pavement.
        The gas station attendant had never seen such things so he ask's Tiger what they were.
        Tiger replies oh, those are for putting my balls on when I drive.
        Without hesitation the attendand says, boy those Germans sure think of everything.
        this is a bit of a stretch...

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: BEST GOLF JOKES !

          Two golfers are just about to putt out on the 16th green, which is adjacent to a road, when suddenly a funeral procession passes by. Whereupon the first golfer interrupts his putting, takes off his hat and bows to the procession. His partner says, "That was really gentlemanly of you - paying your respects like that!"

          The first golfer replies: "Well, she WAS my wife for 25 years..."

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          • #20
            Re: BEST GOLF JOKES !

            A husband and wife played Augusta National together once a year for 40 years straight. Everyone working in the course knew the couple.

            One year, the husband showed up and played alone.

            The course attendant asked 'How come you are playing alone? Where is your Mrs?'

            To which the husband responded 'My wife passed away'

            The attendant said 'I am sorry to hear that....But surely you can find someone to join you to play this fabulous course'

            The husband replied 'Afraid not, they are all at her funeral right now.'

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            • #21
              Re: BEST GOLF JOKES !

              Originally posted by lelyflamingo
              Two newfies are playing in the British Open in the last group together. On the third hole the one newfie hears someone in the crowd yell NICE SHOT STEVE. he goes to the ropes looking for the person calling "Steve". He doesnt see anyone so he goes back to the game. He tells the other newfie someone was calling Steve from the crowd. A couple of holes later he hears someone yell Steve. He again goes to the ropes and looks for the person yelling "Steve" Again he does not see the person. He goes back to the game. Finally three holes later he hears someone yell "Steve" from the crowd. Finally frustrated he goes over to the ropes and yells "my names not Steve"
              Does this one have an ending? Or am I missing something?

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: BEST GOLF JOKES !

                Originally posted by bk51
                Does this one have an ending? Or am I missing something?
                I know...where and who is Steve?

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: BEST GOLF JOKES !

                  Originally posted by Bellyhungry
                  I know...where and who is Steve?
                  I read it 3 times. It went over way over my head too.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: BEST GOLF JOKES !

                    Sent on a promotion to Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his new Buick into a petrol station in a remote part of the countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Newfoundlander manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.


                    Top of the mornin' to yer, sir says the attendant.


                    Tiger nods a quick hello and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.


                    What are dose? Asks the attendant.


                    They're called tees, replies Tiger.


                    Well, what on god's earth are dey for? inquires the attendant.


                    They're for putting my balls on when I'm driving, says Tiger.


                    Lardthunderin!, says the Newfoundlander, Buick tinks of everyting!

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                    • #25
                      Re: BEST GOLF JOKES !

                      Originally posted by golfnguru
                      Sent on a promotion to Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his new Buick into a petrol station in a remote part of the countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Newfoundlander manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.


                      Top of the mornin' to yer, sir says the attendant.


                      Tiger nods a quick hello and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.


                      What are dose? Asks the attendant.


                      They're called tees, replies Tiger.


                      Well, what on god's earth are dey for? inquires the attendant.


                      They're for putting my balls on when I'm driving, says Tiger.


                      Lardthunderin!, says the Newfoundlander, Buick tinks of everyting!
                      How is this different than post #17?

                      And where and who is Steve still?

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: BEST GOLF JOKES !

                        What's in the bag:

                        Driver: TopFlight XLT Extreme 460cc 10.5*
                        Woods: Dynatour Legend 3 & 5 (old, but I can hit them well)
                        Irons: Professional Grand Hawk V16 2-9
                        Wedges: Professional Grand Hawk V16 A S L P
                        Hybrid: Rippa Knight 3
                        Putter: Inazona
                        Balls: CHEAP

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: BEST GOLF JOKES !

                          Originally posted by Bellyhungry
                          How is this different than post #17?

                          And where and who is Steve still?
                          Its a deja vu.

                          I think he played with Crosby and Nash.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: BEST GOLF JOKES !

                            Originally posted by golfnguru
                            Its a deja vu.

                            I think he played with Crosby and Nash.
                            Crosby and Nash don't play on the same team, silly.
                            Take it one shot at a time

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: BEST GOLF JOKES !

                              Originally posted by duffer_devon
                              Crosby and Nash don't play on the same team, silly.
                              but they used to, with Young on defense... back in the day
                              ** I do not claim responsibility for any of the preceding opinions because I am legally insane - Hombre Lefty

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                              • #30
                                Re: BEST GOLF JOKES !

                                Originally posted by duffer_devon
                                Crosby and Nash don't play on the same team, silly.
                                I figured they both liked girls....
                                I like big putts and I cannot lie
                                You other putters can't deny
                                That when a putt goes in with an itty bitty pace
                                You're gonna fist pump in their face - Sir Putts-A-Lot

                                It's how well you golf fast!!!!

                                Comment

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