Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of wedges and tees
I’ve waited around for a long, long winter
Played many a round indoors
And I was round when tiger woods
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure my teaching pro
Flexed his wrists and spoke his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you play my game
But what’s puzzling me
Is the nature of my game
I played around the same old links
When I saw it was a time for a change
Drove the car without synchromesh
My friends all screamed in vain
I rode a cart
Holed a three foot putt
When the birdies raged
And the bogies stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you play my game, oh yeah
Ah, what’s puzzling me
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While my hooks and slices
Fought for decades
For the lessons they forsake
I shouted out,
Who killed the wound ball?
When after all
It was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
I’m a man of wedges and tees
And I landed in traps with many a ball
And got killed before I reached the fairway
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my game, oh yeah
But what’s puzzling me
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down,
Pleased to meet you
Hope you drive the green, oh yeah
But what’s confusing me
Is just the nature of my game
Just as every golfer has a handicap
And all the spinners saints
As heads grow larger and larger still
Just call me Alfa Golfer
cause I’m in need of some new swing
So if you meet me on the practice range
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I’ll shank my ball to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope we’ll play a game, um yeah
But what’s puzzling me
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down
Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
Tell me sharkhark, whats my game
Tell me leftygolfer, can ya drive the green
Tell me cdnputter, whats my game
I tell you one time, you’re all to blame
Ooo, who bellyhungry
Ooo, who hannah
Ooo, who cobbie
Ooo, who, who compugeek
Ooo, who, who golferboy
Ooo, who, who big shooter
Ooo, who, who dekker
Oh, yeah
What's me game
Tell me, hogannut, putt the green
Tell me, mule, drive the green
Ooo, who, who nearace
Ooo, who, who pingnut
Ooo, who, who corchard
Ooo, who, who rbaker
Ooo, who, who goshawk
Ooo, who, who guitarman
Ooo, who, who racmbs
Oh, yeah
I’m a man of wedges and tees
I’ve waited around for a long, long winter
Played many a round indoors
And I was round when tiger woods
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure my teaching pro
Flexed his wrists and spoke his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you play my game
But what’s puzzling me
Is the nature of my game
I played around the same old links
When I saw it was a time for a change
Drove the car without synchromesh
My friends all screamed in vain
I rode a cart
Holed a three foot putt
When the birdies raged
And the bogies stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you play my game, oh yeah
Ah, what’s puzzling me
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While my hooks and slices
Fought for decades
For the lessons they forsake
I shouted out,
Who killed the wound ball?
When after all
It was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
I’m a man of wedges and tees
And I landed in traps with many a ball
And got killed before I reached the fairway
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my game, oh yeah
But what’s puzzling me
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down,
Pleased to meet you
Hope you drive the green, oh yeah
But what’s confusing me
Is just the nature of my game
Just as every golfer has a handicap
And all the spinners saints
As heads grow larger and larger still
Just call me Alfa Golfer
cause I’m in need of some new swing
So if you meet me on the practice range
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I’ll shank my ball to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope we’ll play a game, um yeah
But what’s puzzling me
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down
Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
Tell me sharkhark, whats my game
Tell me leftygolfer, can ya drive the green
Tell me cdnputter, whats my game
I tell you one time, you’re all to blame
Ooo, who bellyhungry
Ooo, who hannah
Ooo, who cobbie
Ooo, who, who compugeek
Ooo, who, who golferboy
Ooo, who, who big shooter
Ooo, who, who dekker
Oh, yeah
What's me game
Tell me, hogannut, putt the green
Tell me, mule, drive the green
Ooo, who, who nearace
Ooo, who, who pingnut
Ooo, who, who corchard
Ooo, who, who rbaker
Ooo, who, who goshawk
Ooo, who, who guitarman
Ooo, who, who racmbs
Oh, yeah
It may go up or down in value depending on the day, but it's always safe in times of turmoil. 
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